If I ever win the lottery...

...I will hire a graduate student to do my grading. Of course, I would have to buy a lottery ticket in order to win. And, if I had a graduate student do my grading, I would miss some of the blazing brilliance-like this:
"Odysseus could not look back when he threw Ino's immortal veil back into the ocean. He rejected Kalypso's offer of immortality, and looking back would indicate that he had a longing to hold on to immortality. A person cannot go forward while looking back, and Odysseus cannot continue his journey if he holds the desire for things he has left behind."

I love the children.

Edit: 24 essays to go. It's tempting to just sit down and blow right through them, but I have to be certain that I give the final paper the same care that I gave the first one.